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Between four and seven months, your baby may undergo a dramatic change in personality. At the beginning of this period, she may seem relatively passive and preoccupied with getting enough food, sleep, and affection. But as she learns to sit up, use her hands, and move about, she’s likely to become increasingly assertive and more attentive to the world outside. She’ll be eager to reach out and touch everything she sees, and if she can’t manage on her own, she’ll demand your help by yelling, banging, or dropping the nearest object at hand. Once you’ve come to her rescue, she’ll probably forget what she was doing and concentrate on you—smiling, laughing, babbling, and imitating you for many minutes at a stretch. While she’ll quickly get bored with even the most engaging toy, she’ll never tire of your attention.

The more subtle aspects of your baby’s personality are determined largely by her constitutional makeup or temperament. Is she rambunctious or gentle? Easygoing or easily upset? Headstrong or compliant? To a large extent, these are inborn character traits. Just as infants come in different sizes and shapes, their temperaments differ as well. Their unique character traits include their activity levels, their persistence, and their adaptability to the world around them—and these traits will become increasingly apparent during these months. You won’t necessarily find all of their personal characteristics enjoyable all the time—especially not when your determined six-month-old is screaming in frustration as she lunges for the family cat. But in the long run, adapting to her natural personality is best for both of you. And because your baby’s temperament is real and directly affects you and the rest of the family, it’s important to understand her as completely as possible.

Your child’s “behavioral style” even affects how you parent and how you feel about yourself. An agreeable, even-tempered child, for example, is more likely to make you feel competent as a parent than one who is constantly irritable.

As you’ve probably discovered already, some infants of this age are “easy,” calm and predictable, while others are much more difficult. Strong-willed and high-strung babies require an extra dose of patience and gentle guidance. They often don’t adapt to changing surroundings as easily as calmer babies, and will become increasingly upset if pushed to move or perform before they’re ready. To a large degree, you’ll fare better not by trying to change your child’s temperament, but by accommodating it. You can reduce the stresses of rearing an infant by recognizing and acknowledging her temperament rather than resisting or working against it.

Language and cuddling sometimes will do wonders to calm the nerves of an irritable child. Distracting her can help refocus her energy. For instance, if she screams because you won’t retrieve the toy she dropped for the tenth time, move her to the floor so she can reach the toy herself.

The shy or “sensitive” child also requires special attention, particularly if you have more boisterous children in the household who overshadow her. When a baby is quiet and undemanding, it’s easy to assume she’s content, or if she doesn’t laugh or smile a lot, you may lose interest in playing with her. But a baby like this often needs personal contact even more than other children. She may be overwhelmed easily and needs you to show her how to be assertive and become involved in the activities around her. How should you do this? Give her plenty of time to warm up to any situation, and make sure that other people approach her slowly. Let her sit on the sidelines before attempting to involve her directly with other children. Once she feels secure, gradually she’ll become more responsive to the people around her.

Also let your pediatrician know if you have any concerns about your baby’s emotional development. Your pediatrician can help if she knows there are problems, but such concerns can often be difficult to detect in a routine office visit. That’s why it’s important for you to call the doctor’s attention to your concerns and describe your day-to-day observations. Write them down so you don’t forget them. And take comfort in the fact that with time and patience, some of her personality traits that you wish you could change will evolve. In the meantime, enjoy her as she is.

The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.

If you had a tough pregnancy, you may have thought things would get easier once your baby was born. Perhaps you were ready to be rid of the watermelon-between-your-legs waddle, or couldn’t wait to have a glass of wine again. And of course, you were likely looking forward to the best reward for all of the weeks of pregnancy—finally holding your little one in your arms!

But many first-time parents find that after the first month of parenthood, it can actually get more difficult. This surprising truth is one reason many experts refer to a baby’s first three months of life as the “fourth trimester.”

If months two, three, and beyond are tougher than you expected, you’re not alone. From going back to work to changing sleep schedules, there are many reasons you may feel parenting becomes increasingly difficult after an initial honeymoon period. Here are several challenges you may experience, plus expert input on how to lighten your load.

When Do Babies Get Easier?

Many babies get easier around 3 to 4 months old. Around this age, infants may begin to sleep longer stretches and feed on a more predictable schedule. You may also start to adjust to your new set of responsibilities as a parent.

This being said, every baby is different, as is every family. It can be completely normal if you still feel exhausted and overwhelmed throughout the first year. Let's break down a few reasons why taking care of your baby may be challenging after the first month or beyond.

Your Baby's Sleep Is Changing

For the first several weeks of life, it might seem like your new arrival does nothing but snooze. “In the first month, babies require an enormous amount of sleep and will sleep just about anywhere,” says pediatric sleep consultant Gaby Wentworth, LCSW. “It's easy to transport them and get things done around the house because, well, they sleep all of the time.”

However, as time goes by and your bundle of joy begins to grow and change, so does their sleep. As a result, they start to require a more structured sleep schedule in a more consistent environment. This means you're working around their schedule now—not the other way around.

You might also notice your baby entering a “twilight zone” of fussiness late in the day. “At this age, fussiness in the afternoon and early evening tends to hit its peak. This can be exhausting for parents,” says Wentworth. Though you may not be able to stop this tendency toward cranky behavior, you can rest assured that it’s normal for this stage of your child’s development.

You May Not Have Much Help

Maybe having a parent or in-law live with you for the first few weeks postpartum wasn’t your idea of a grand old time—but after their departure, you may discover their help was more valuable than you realized.

Plus, it’s not just live-in helpers who typically go away after the first month of your baby’s life. Meal deliveries and other offers of help also gradually recede the older your baby gets.

Without assistance from others, the full weight of baby care can feel overwhelming. But there are still ways to politely ask for—and get—help, even after a baby’s first month.

“I always encourage new mothers to not allow asking for help to mean something it doesn't,” says counselor Kayce Hodos, LPC, NCC. “It doesn't mean you don't know what you're doing or you're weak or a bad mother. It simply means you're doing the hardest job in the world and could use some support.”

Try making a list of tasks you wish you had help with, encourages Hodos, and then reach out to friends. She suggests you keep it practical and focus on the jobs that need doing.

Your Emotions Continue to Adjust

“While many women experience overwhelming sadness and/or anxiety within the first few days or weeks (known as the 'baby blues'), others report feeling a rush of excitement (perhaps oxytocin) that carries them through the first week or two,” says Hodos.

As you continue to adjust to your new life with your baby, you might feel like you’re on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. “A woman can experience symptoms of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders at any time during pregnancy and up to one year after childbirth,” Hodos says. 

Parenthood is an ever-evolving journey that will keep you on your toes—physically and emotionally. But if feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety aren’t letting up, seek help from a qualified professional.

You Are Going Back to Work

In what feels like a flash, it’s time to go back to work; the prescribed limit for many people on maternity leave is just six weeks. Whether you’re employed part- or full-time, leaving your baby in someone else’s care can do a number on your emotions.

Even if you’ve looked forward to returning to work, there’s no denying that doing so comes with logistical challenges. For breastfeeding parents, pumping at work can be stressful and time-consuming, while childcare drop-off and pickup may add extra time to your commute.

When going back to work piles on the pressure, try to focus on streamlining your routine. Having a set schedule for to-do's like when to pack baby’s daycare bag or when to take a pumping break may help you hang on to your sanity.

To cultivate your sense of closeness with your little one, make a point of reserving special activities that are just for the two of you, like bath time in the evenings or a Saturday morning walk.

Hodos also recommends speaking with your human resources department as early as possible about making the shift back to work smoother.

“Some workplaces allow women to gradually return to their jobs, working a part-time schedule or a modified work-from-home arrangement a few days a week,” she says. “Do some thinking about what would make the transition back to work a little easier, and then have a conversation with your boss or HR.”

Others’ Expectations of You Change 

Most people understand that, for new parents, the first few weeks after giving birth are a haze of diaper changes, round-the-clock feedings, and sometimes painful physical recovery—all on fragmented sleep.

But, as the weeks after your baby’s arrival go by, other people’s expectations of new parents often shift. Friends and family might give you less grace for being late or seeming scattered. And you may feel pressure to “get it together”—even though your sleep and your self-care may be just as out of whack (or more so) as when you first gave birth.

When others don’t have compassion for your situation, it’s easy to feel like you have to pull yourself up by the bootstraps to meet their expectations. But remember that becoming a parent is an enormous life change that takes time to adjust to. Try a gut check. Regardless of other people’s opinions, if you know you’re doing your best, that’s what matters. 

A Word From Verywell

Just as your baby grows and changes rapidly, your experience of parenthood can too. You may find some aspects of baby care fairly manageable in the first weeks, when your baby sleeps a lot and you have many helping hands around. Then, things may get tougher for awhile as your baby is more wakeful, you have less help, and you head back to work. But after a few weeks or months—often by the time your baby is three or four months old—you will adjust to this new reality too.

Which of Erikson's stages occurs in infancy?

Which of the following is one of Thomas and Chess's temperament styles?

What type of infant temperament is generally associated with better adjustment in adulthood?

How reactive and emotional a baby is from birth is referred to as their?